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Paloma Faith has candidly admitted she felt “broken” and “disappointed” after she felt she didn’t live up to her expectations of motherhood.
The Voice Kids judge, 38, has a three year old child, whom she recently revealed the gender of.
Singer Paloma gave birth to her daughter four weeks early after 19 hours of labour in 2016 and expected she would take to being a mum “like a duck to water”.
Paloma told Mirror Online: “I felt very geared up for parenthood and in my mind I was going to have lots of children.
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“I had a really good role model because my mum was pretty amazing.”
But, she admitted that after her traumatic birth she felt “broken” and “disappointed”.
Paloma explained: “And then I had my baby and lots of things went wrong and I was sadder than I’ve ever been before and I felt broken, largely by the disappointment that I wasn’t the mother that I thought I’d be.
“I thought I was going to take to it like a duck to water and it was going to be very instant.”
The singer suffered from postnatal depression and it took her some time to form a bond with her daughter, who she conceived via IVF with her partner Leyman Lahcine, and felt there could have been a mix-up with the baby.
She explained: “I was like: 'That’s not my baby, that’s totally not what I thought my baby would be like'.
“I said to my partner: ‘Do you think that’s ours?’ And he was like, ‘I don’t know’.
“I started emailing doctors saying: ‘Is there any way you might have put the wrong embryo in me?’ But now you can see it, our child exactly looks like us.”
Paloma Faith denies claims she's raising her daughter gender neutral: 'I was misunderstood'
Paloma Faith reveals gender of her three year old child as she opens up on motherhood in rare chat
Paloma now has a strong bond with her daughter and said the tot is “obsessed” with her famous mother.
The singer said: “My child’s a bit obsessed by me and I really like it.
“It’s like I’m totally validated.
“She sort of looked at me like a big sister in that sort of awestruck way, like: ‘What do you think?’ and if I say anything it’s perfect.”
It comes after Paloma said she was wasn’t raising her child gender neutral, despite hiding the gender of her daughter from the public for several years.
Paloma told Radio Times: “I was misunderstood – the media reported that I wasn’t dictating gender stereotypes.
“True, I don’t encourage gender rigidity with toys, but really, I was traumatised by the birth and protective of our privacy.”
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