I became a mum at 16 and now have three kids – I think using a dummy is lazy and why I’ll never back down when I say no | The Sun

A MUM of three has sparked controversy by revealing the things she wouldn't do as a parent – including using a dummy from a certain point.

Toni took to TikTok to share a video detailing her biggest mum rules, explaining that she first became a mother at the age of 16, and her oldest child is now 14.


"Everyone parents differently, this is just my opinion – you don’t like it? You do it your way," Toni, who is now 31, said.

"It doesn’t matter."

First up, Toni said that she never used a dummy for her children after they got their first two teeth.

"It’s lazy – again, my opinion – and you’re asking for their teeth to be damaged," she said.

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"There’s just no need for it.

"Suffer the week or however long it takes to remove the dummy but teeth come first."

Next, Toni insisted that if she ever tells her children "No", she will never back down.

"It doesn’t matter how much you moan at me, how much you go on, if I’ve said no, the more you moan the more you’re going to lose, it’s as simple as that," she explained.

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"Kids learn very early on about consequence and they understand repetitive behaviour so they will know if they kick off, Mum wants an easy life, Mum will eventually back down.

"I taught my kids from early, Mum does not back down.

"If Mum has said yes, Mum’s gonna do it. If Mum has said no then forget it and ask another day, or I will always compromise and say, ‘No, we can’t do that today, we’ll do it tomorrow'.

"But then if the tantrum ensues, we’re not doing it tomorrow either. Kids learn pretty quickly to follow boundaries."

She also ensured her children learned not to interrupt her when she's mid-conversation.

"Kids also need to learn that when adults are talking, again boundaries," she said.

"‘Excuse me, I’m having a conversation, I’ll talk to you in a minute.

"You must always go back though, because if you say ‘Hold on, I’ll talk to you in a minute’ and then you don’t go back, the whole thing has failed and then they’ll go ‘Mum, mum Mum’ because they know you’re not going to go back to them and ask them, ‘What did you want darling?’"

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Toni continued her list by admitting she's a "helicopter mum" to her kids.

"I understand there’s dangers but kids also need to learn consequence and self taught skills," she said.

"So how are kids ever going to learn anything if you’re over them like this the whole time?

"If we’re at a park, I’m going to sit, I’m going to watch, I’m going to observe and if anything happens that’s dangerous then I’ll intervene.

"Other than that, figure it out on your own."

And concluding her list, Toni said that she will always insist that her kids spend their birthdays with her.

"It’s as simple as that," she said.

"I birthed them, I’m their mum nobody else in the world cares as much about their birthday as me.

"I will take them out, I will spend the day with them, give them one on one attention.

"They deserve that, they’re my babies."

Despite the controversial nature of her video, the majority of comments on the clip came from people praising Toni for her advice.

"I agree with every single thing you have said, exactly the way id parent my own when i have them," one wrote.

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"Not a parent. Don't imagine I will be anytime soon. But definitely saved this for the future," another added.

While a third commented: "I’ve got a 7 week old baby and learnt a lot from this."

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