DEAR DEIDRE: I AM sleeping with my best friend’s husband and even though I know it’s a terrible betrayal, I can’t stop myself.
She had an affair with another friend’s husband a few years ago – so she’s hardly an innocent party.
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I am 35, single and have been friends with her since we worked in a clothes shop together, 10 years ago.
She is 34, and her husband is 38.
I’ve always got on well with him, and we had a laugh if we all went out together — he was mates with my ex — or if I went to their house.
But over the lockdowns, he started sending me flirty messages. I had found him attractive since we first met, so I was flattered.
Once, he even suggested a threesome with my best mate, which I laughed off as a joke.
He told me things had not been great in the bedroom with her since she had their son, who is two.
I already knew this, because she had told me she no longer has the energy for sex.
One afternoon, three months ago, he came round to pick something up. I invited him in for a coffee.
While I was making the drinks, he came up behind me and put his arms around my waist.
I didn’t push him away. We ended up kissing passionately then went upstairs to have sex. We have been having an affair ever since.
He has told me he loves me and wants to be with me, not my best mate.
I know we’re better suited than they are. We have far more in common and more chemistry.
I’m having the best sex of my life. He’s so kind and caring too.
I’m aware that what I’m doing is wrong. But she did cheat on him too.
However, if he leaves her for me, it will destroy their family and our friendship.
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But if I stop seeing him it will break my heart. I’m so confused.
What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You know what you’re doing is wrong. You’re trying to justify it to yourself by saying she has cheated too – but two wrongs don’t make a right.
Remember, this isn’t just about your best mate. She has a young son with this man. They won’t have a clean break.
And you can’t be certain that what he says about leaving them is genuine. People often make promises they won’t keep in the heat of passion.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
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My support pack, Your Lover Not Free?, explains more.
You might find it helpful to talk to someone sympathetic, outside the situation. Call Supportline (01708 765 200, supportline.org.uk).
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