DEAR DEIDRE: MY eldest son has decided he wants to live with his dad. I’m heartbroken.
There was no scandal when I split from my ex two years ago. We just fell out of love.
We thought our boys, now 15 and 12, were old enough to decide where they wanted to live, so we let them choose.
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The kids stayed with me as they didn’t want to leave their friends or change school. But last month they went for a long weekend at their dad’s and something was off when they came back.
My eldest seemed angry and his brother said their dad was pressuring them to stay. He claimed he’d have more time for them than I do.
Last week, during an argument, our oldest son said he wanted to go live with his dad. The next day he got a train over there and I’ve heard little from him since.
I’m devastated. I work day and night to provide for my boys and always try to make them happy.
Now I feel worthless and unwanted. I’m 46.
DEIDRE SAYS: Children of separated parents can sometimes feel torn, so after spending so much time with you, your son might think it is only fair to live with his dad for a while.
If you are struggling to talk to him, write a letter explaining that you support him. This is key to maintaining a positive relationship.
But also suggest you plan a weekend soon so he can visit you for some quality time.
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