Jennifer Lopez Just Showed Off Her Insanely Ripped Abs At The CFDA Awards

Jennifer Lopez has been making iconic fashion choices since practically forever. (That green Versace dress she wore to the 2000 Grammys is straight legendary.) So it makes sense that the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) decided to give her an award for looking so next-level all the time. In true J.Lo form, she did not disappoint with the outfit she wore to the ceremony.

J.Lo received the Icon Award at the CFDA Fashion Awards on Monday night, and she pretty much wore couture athleisure to the event, as only J.Lo can do. Her outfit, which was designed by Ralph Lauren, consisted of an orange sparkly crop top with a matching full skirt, complete with sweatpants-style drawstring waist and a massive train. The whole thing was covered in crystals.

The whole look showcased her six-pack, which is straight fire. Check it out here:

J. LeeGetty Images

Her fiancé Alex Rodriguez attended the event as well, and he looked adorably pleased as hell to be by her side:

Gilbert CarrasquilloGetty Images

So, about those abs… . J.Lo has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t get them from sitting on her butt. In 2015, she told Us Weekly that she “very rarely skips a workout.”

She and A-Rod also swear by TruFusion workouts to sculpt their banging bodies. The fitness studio features classes from yoga to bootcamp in rooms heated to up to 120 degrees.

Check out J.Lo and A-Rod’s adorable love story:

While her trainer David Kirsch told People in 2017 that J.Lo is “genetically blessed,” he also said that she has a ton of energy, both mental and physical, that help fuel her drive at the gym. “She’s very connected to her body, and she’s got crazy discipline,” he said.

Um, yeah. It shows.

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‘Euphoria’ Review: Zendaya’s HBO Series Is a Teens-in-Crisis Horror Show

There is a haunting, painful, and personal story at the center of “Euphoria,” as well as a haunting, painful, and affecting performance from its star, Zendaya. As 17-year-old Rue Bennett, the “Greatest Showman” and “K.C. Undercover” actor plays a teenager in crisis. Returning from a summer spent in rehab, after her younger sister found Rue covered in her own vomit from a nasty drug overdose — Rue is an addict, and a resilient one at that. Over the first four episodes, Rue repeatedly puts herself in dangerous situations, all in pursuit of the fleeting feeling of – not euphoria, but nothingness; an absence from the dreary existence that otherwise clouds her days.

Zendaya is exceptional at every turn. She adds heartbreaking levity to moments when her spiraling teenager feels invincible instead of fragile, and the way she carries herself, narrates each story, and generally handles the weight of leading a series are all as endearing as they are commanding. You feel for Rue and you’re surprised by her, which is no easy feat.

But the authenticity of her trauma is oft-overwhelmed by an onslaught of other painful stories. Like Rue, Sam Levinson’s HBO drama bites off more than it can chew — or, perhaps better put, it bites off more than its audience will be able to handle. In expanding beyond Rue’s arc to many of her troubled high school peers, “Euphoria’s” unflinching depiction of heavy, gut-churning adolescent events adds up to an exhausting, exasperating experience. For all his savvy transitions, propulsive pacing, and dynamic visual stylings, Levinson — who writes and directs the first four episodes — can’t escape the collective darkness at the center of each individual story. Separate, they’re distressing. Together, they’re horrifying.

Yet in an odd juxtaposition, “Euphoria” is primarily a love story. When Rue gets out of rehab, she soon meets a fast-friend and soon-to-be-crush, Jules (Hunter Schafer). A transgender girl who just moved to town, Jules carries her own baggage — namely, that she’s attracted to much older and overtly homophobic men — but she and Rue hit it off immediately. Each is trying to figure out who they are, and neither has had a simpatico partner-in-crime until now.

Hunter Schafer and Zendaya in “Euphoria”


Beyond their own understandable anxieties and mental roadblocks, the classmates they’ve failed to connect with also stand in their way. Towering above the pack is the conventional high school symbol of perfection: the star quarterback, Nate Jacobs (Jacob Elordi). Nate is popular. He’s tall, cut, and well-off. He’s the main fixture at parties, where he does what most male jocks do, whether they’re pressured to or otherwise: He drinks, flexes (often shirtless), and hooks up with the hottest girl he can find.

Usually, that means Maddy (Alexa Demie), Nate’s on- and off-again girlfriend, but their passionate “love” leads to equally passionate fights. You see, Nate isn’t exactly well-adjusted. His dark past has led him to an even darker present, and what he enjoys isn’t what he’s publicly known for; in short, he’s exemplary of the oblivious, self-obsessed, and problematic white male, only his issues go so far beyond typical toxicity. Nate’s backstory is outlined in the second episode, and Levinson follows this model throughout the first four hours: One character is introduced as a young child and developed via montage to explain how they ended up the teen they are today. Most of these stories range from jarring to appalling, whether past or present, and they do add up.

“Euphoria” hasn’t heard a sad story it can’t make worse. There are scenes you’ll wish you never saw, let alone reflect on. Statutory rape takes place in the first episode. An enormous older man masturbates via webcam in front of a teenage girl. Actually, multiple men expose themselves (and more) sans invitation, but it’s hard to keep track of how many when there’s one unsettling scene so soon after the last one. A trigger warning before each episode wouldn’t be uncalled for.

Zendaya in “Euphoria”


But each moment is meant to reflect someone’s truth. “Euphoria” is a teen drama that actually strives to be honest to a teen experience — they’re the worst teen experiences you can imagine, sure, but they’re far from impossible ones. Rather than the nighttime soaps populating The CW or outlandish comedies available on streaming, the HBO series grounds itself in stark reality. Remember how when you were 15, every flirtation or insult felt like life or death? That’s how it feels to watch “Euphoria,” though those kind of trivial matters aren’t really brought up.

For some, “Euphoria” will be an extremely unpleasant experience. For others, it may prove cathartic. Aesthetically, it’s extremely sharp. Levinson smoothly moves from subject to subject, event to event, with skillful touches scattered throughout. Never is his methodical pacing more apparent than in the fourth episode, as a series of one-shots takes you through a nighttime carnival. There’s a steady build to a crescendo, but the favorite adolescent setting doesn’t provide any cliched results. Levinson isn’t afraid of overt symbolism either — there’s even a scene when as soon as Jules bikes away from Rue, the bright and sunny day gives way to storm clouds and rain; Rue’s sunshine is gone, and all that’s left is her addiction.

Despite Levinson’s clear command over his storytelling aesthetic, Zendaya’s strong turn, and a rich authenticity driving each scene, viewers shouldn’t expect to enjoy the series, which is ultimately its biggest downfall. The best they can hope for is to feel something for these kids. With a little fine-tuning, “Euphoria” could put its unblinking vision to better use. A sense of humor and a glimpse of goodness can go a long way. As it stands, the severe darkness dulls the impact beyond blunt force trauma. There’s a connection to be made with Rue and her journey, but joy seems too far out of reach.

Grade: B-

“Euphoria” premieres Sunday, June 16 at 10 p.m. on HBO. Its first public screening will take place at ATX TV Festival in Austin, TX on Thursday, June 13. 

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Kevin and Danielle Jonas Have Been Together a Little Bit Longer Than You Probably Remember

The Jonas Brothers men have had some pretty epic romances of the course of their career, but Kevin and his wife, Danielle, have been together almost as long as the band has. In the Jonas Brothers documentary, Chasing Happiness, there is a really sweet moment between the two lovebirds from November 2007 as Kevin talks with Danielle on the phone and his brothers Nick and Joe try to give him dating advice. Of course, the cutest part is at the end of the phone call when Kevin tells his brothers off and Nick hilariously replies, “Sorry, we’re just really excited because she’s your wife.” Talk about foreshadowing!

So, when did their romance first begin? Kevin first met Danielle when they were vacationing with their families in the Bahamas in May 2007. Based on the clip from their documentary, it appears they started dating sometime later that year. In July 2009, Kevin surprised Danielle by taking an overnight flight to her home in New Jersey and proposing. “It was tough performing last night, knowing that I was going to ask the biggest question in my life to the most amazing girl in the world,” Kevin told People at the time. The couple eventually tied the knot that December and have since welcomed two beautiful daughters, Alena, 5, and Valentina, 2. Take a walk down memory lane by looking back as some of their sweetest moments.

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Ellen Page and Wife Emma Portner Kiss on the Red Carpet, One Day After Topless Pride Photo

So in love!

Ellen Page and her wife Emma Portner attended the premiere of Netflix’s Tales of the City in New York City on Monday night, where they shared a sweet kiss while walking the red carpet.

The 32-year-old actress stars in the upcoming miniseries, which hits the streaming service on Friday.

Page wore a black suit and a black and white striped shirt for the occasion, while Portner, a professional dancer, opted for a white turtleneck paired with a long black jacket.

One day earlier, in honor of the beginning of Pride Month, Page shared an intimate topless photo with her wife to Instagram.

“HAPPY PRIDE!!! Sending love ❤️🌈,” the Juno star captioned the post, in which the two embrace into a loving kiss.

Ellen Page Celebrates Pride Month with Wife Emma Portner in Topless Kissing Photo

Page first began posting photos with Portner, 24, on social media in the summer of 2017, and in January 2018 the actress revealed that the couple had tied the knot.

In a recent interview with PorterEdit, the actress admitted she’s “so in love” and absolutely adores “being married.”

“I’ll be walking my dog, and I start talking to people, and I end up telling them about my wife and making them look at our Instagram. I’m that person,” she told the outlet.

In 2014, Page came out as gay at a Human Rights Campaign event in a rousing speech that earned her a standing ovation. The actress said she was ready to come out in hopes that her experience would help other people struggling with their sexuality.

“I remember being in my early 20s and really believing it was impossible for me to come out,” the actress, who’s now an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ rights, told PorterEdit. “But, over time, with more representation, hearts and minds have changed. It doesn’t happen quickly enough and it hasn’t happened enough, particularly for the most marginalized in the community. But things have got better.”

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Cupid Who? Watch Natalie Halcro and Olivia Pierson Plot to Reunite Liv's Divorced Parents

Natalie Halcro and Olivia Pierson are ready to get “clucked up” on a family vacation.

In this exclusive clip from Sunday’s all-new Relatively Nat & Liv, Olivia pitches “a family Whistler trip” to Nat and sister Sophia Pierson. Thankfully, it doesn’t take much convincing as both Nat and Sophia are in favor of the getaway.

“That’s a great idea,” Sophia notes. “We have to, especially when you guys are home. We have to do that.”

According to Liv, the Halcro-Pierson clan hasn’t had a big family vacation in around 20 years. “That was all when we were all really young,” Nat adds in support. “But, like every single one of us together? It’s been forever.”

However, it appears that Nat and Liv have an ulterior motive as they’re also hoping to fuel a reunion between exes Julia Pierson and Brian Pierson.

After seeing sparks fly between the two at Rhonda Halcro and Jim Halcro‘s anniversary party, the best friend cousins are ready to pull a Parent Trap.

But, more importantly, Liv hopes to drive up in a party bus with her favorite family members. “I think we’re at a spot where we can, you know, get a really luxe place,” Liv relays in a confessional. “And it’s the perfect time to do it.”

Yet, Nat’s attention is elsewhere during talk of the trip as she’s too busy reconnecting with former flame Aygemang. Although Nat claims “it’s not that serious,” she seems pretty smitten while discussing her romantic situation.

“We dated and then he wanted to be more serious and I didn’t want to. We broke up,” Nat spills to her cousins. “Now it’s been 6 months. He called, I was pleasantly surprised with how I felt when he called.”

Will there be two romantic reunions in Whistler? For that answer, be sure to catch Sunday’s episode of Relatively Nat & Liv.

Watch a brand new episode of Nat & Liv Sunday at 10 p.m., only on E!

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Who is Luka Jovic, has he joined Real Madrid, and how many goals did he score last season?

ONE of the most talented strikers in Europe is on the move.

Luka Jovic enjoyed a breakthrough campaign last term with Frankfurt and was instrumental in their journey to the semi-finals of the Europa League.

Who is Luka Jovic?

A STRONG and athletic striker, Jovic was born in Bijeljina, Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1997.

Currently just 21 years old, he began his career with Red Star Belgrade and was on the books of the Serbian giants from the age of just 8.

Early on in his time with Red Star, their arch rivals Partizan offered Jovic's father 200 euros a month to move to them – but the youngster wanted to stay with the team that originally plucked him from obscurity.

After rising through the youth ranks, he was given a start in the first team aged just 16, becoming the youngest scorer in the clubs history when netting two minutes after coming off the bench against Vojvodina.

The youngster's power and eye for goal saw clubs across Europe come calling, with a move to Benfica following in February 2016.

But after failing to break into the first-team in Portugal, Bundesliga side Eintract Frankfurt offered to take the young Sergian forward on loan for two years, with an option to sign if things went well.

Since moving to Germany in January 2017, Jovic has established himself as one of Europe's hottest properties – and has turned himself into a lethal goal machine.

In total, he scored 35 goals in 76 appearances for Frankfurt as they went on a terrific run in last season's Europa League – with the vast majority of his goals coming in a prolific 2018/19.

Jovic has 4 caps for Serbia, with his only international strike coming in March 2019 against Germany.

Has he joined Real Madrid?

CLUBS around Europe were alerted to the progression made by Jovic after his performances last term.

And Real Madrid – currently undergoing a period of transition with Zinedine Zidane back at the helm – have swooped to secure his services.

Jovic has signed a six-year-deal at the Bernabeu, costing the La Liga giants an initial £58million.

Eintracht Frankfurt sporting director Fredi Bobic said: "From a sporting point of view selling Luka Jovic is a big blow.

"His explosiveness and capacity to score goals propelled us into Europe and we have benefited from more than just his goals in the past two years.

"But it was clear that there was a limit to what kind of bid we could refuse. For Eintracht Frankfurt this is a good and important transfer.

"We wish Luka all the best in the future. He has all the attributes to have a great career. And we are proud that we have supported him on his way."

How many goals did he score last season?

IT was Jovic's excellent 2018/19 season which has bagged him the mega move to Spain.

Frankfurt finished seventh in the Bundesliga and only missed out on a place in the Europa League final after penalty heartbreak against Chelsea.

Jovic scored 27 goals in 48 games across all competitions.

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Aston Villa flop McCormack leaves club after agreeing to end £70,000-a-week deal a year early

ASTON VILLA flop Ross McCormack is leaving the club a year before his contract ends – after getting a big pay-off from the Premier League new-boys.

The £70,000-a-week striker was sent out on loan to Motherwell last season after making just 14 starts for Aston Villa since his £14million transfer in 2016.

McCormack, 32, is now looking for a new club after talks with the Championship play-off winners ended with the two parties reaching an agreement.

The Scotland forward had signed a four-year contract when he left Fulham three years ago to move to Villa Park.

He was thought to be set for a salary increase after Villa clinched promotion, despite not playing for nearly two years – with TWO loan spells in the Australian A-League.

McCormack has caused controversy at the Midlanders and had an infamous bust-up with then boss Steve Bruce in 2017.

The former Rangers and Leeds hitman failed to turn up for a training session and was dropped to the Under-23s.

McCormack blamed a faulty gate at his house which he claimed had locked him in.

Striker bombed out by then boss Steve Bruce

The Glaswegian last played for Villa in September 2017 in an EFL Cup tie but has not played a league game since his row with Bruce.

He has struggled for games and goals during loan spells at Motherwell, Nottingham Forest, plus Melbourne City and Central Coast Mariners in Australia.

McCormack is just one of six players who have left Villa Park since they won the £180m play-off final showdown against Derby last month to end their three-year spell outside the top flight.

Glenn Whelan, Micah Richards, Mile Jedinak, Alan Hutton and Albert Adomah have all left after their contracts ended.

Villa chief executive Christian Purslow expects it to be a busy summer as the club's owners Nassef Sawiaris and Wes Edens make sure they compete in the Premier League next term.

Purslow said promotion was the catalyst, saying: “It’s the biggest and most important step so it’s not just another chapter – it’s a vital chapter and first step because essentially we’ve got back on the right platform.

“From there, for Dean Smith and his team, their talents can be given full vent on the right stage because the support Dean and I have now from tremendous owners, in terms of their interest, their qualifications, their knowledge and their financial resources, means on that platform, we can take this club on a wonderful journey and I think we will.”

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EastEnders spoilers: Robbie Jackson in trouble as ex Nita arrives and calls the police over son Sami

EASTENDERS' Robbie Jackson could be arrested for kidnapping son Sami next week as his ex-wife Nita arrives in the UK and threatens to call the police.

Robbie, who dated Nita back in the 90s, reveals that the little lad should be back in India.

Terrified about losing his son again, Robbie – who’s played by Dean Gaffney in the BBC soap – locks them both in Kush’s flat, which leads to a showdown with Nita.

Robbie’s secret is revealed after Kush spots a load of missed calls from Nita on Robbie’s phone early in the week and, when he confronts Robbie about it, he’s stunned when Robbie confesses Sami is meant to be on his way back to India.

Robbie swears Kush to secrecy, and Kush reluctantly agrees.

But Kush – Davood Ghadami – can’t help worrying about Robbie keeping Sami from his mum and asks girlfriend Kat Slater what he should to.

The pair have a heart-to-heart and Kush follows Kat’s advice and tells Robbie's sister Sonia the truth about little Sami.

Sonia is horrified to hear Robbie has basically kidnapped his own son.

Later, Sonia – Natalie Cassidy – suggests a picnic with Robbie and Sami, but it doesn’t take long before Robbie realises that Kush has told her what he’s up to.

Sonia and Robbie exchange heated words and she pleads with him to do the right thing and call Nita, who is going out of her mind with worry.

But Robbie doesn’t want to hear anything his sister has to say.

Sonia and Kush are at a loss at what to do about Robbie but they’re stopped in their tracks when they get a call from Nita telling them she’s back in the UK.

Things go from bad to worse when Robbie locks himself and Sami in the flat, refusing to come out.

The situation quickly escalates and Nita warns Robbie that she’ll call the police. Will she go through with it?

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Trump says U.K. protests were ‘small’ and ‘fake news,’ but pictures tell a different story

U.S. President Donald Trump severely downplayed the size of the crowds protesting his state visit to the U.K., calling them “small” despite pictures showing thousands of demonstrators.

The protesters lined the streets in London’s government district as Trump met with U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May Tuesday just blocks away.

Pictures show large crowds and large props, including the return of a blimp that depicts Trump as an infant, outside Parliament Square, nearby the meeting between the two leaders.

A “Baby Trump” balloon flies over a demonstrator as she takes part in an anti-Trump protest in London, Britain, June 4, 2019.

New props included a robotic Trump sitting on a toilet, and signs ranging from women’s rights to environmental rights.

The chants, “Say it loud, say it clear, Donald Trump’s not welcome here,” rang out in the square.

People march down Whitehall during an anti-Trump protest against U.S. President Donald J. Trump State visit to the UK at Trafalgar Square in London, Britain, 04 June 2019.

But Trump downplayed the demonstrations, calling it “fake news.”

Trump said “there were thousands of people on the streets cheering” as he travelled with the Royal family on Monday.

He also said he didn’t see the protests until Tuesday morning, and that when he did see it, it was “a very small group.”

“I heard that there were protests. I said where are the protests? I don’t see any protests, I did see a small protest today when I came, very small, so a lot of it is fake news,” he said during a press conference with May.

Leaders of Britain’s main opposition party joined demonstrators at the rally, just up the street from May’s Downing Street office.

Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn declined an invitation to the banquet hosted by Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace on Monday evening.

Trump criticized Corbyn, saying he doesn’t like people who criticize others instead of “doing the right thing.”


A sign is seen during a protest against U.S. President Donald Trump, in London, Britain, June 4, 2019.

He also said Corbyn asked to meet with Trump.

“I don’t know Jeremy Corbyn, never met him, never spoke to him. He wanted to meet today or tomorrow and I decided that I would not do that.”

Demonstrators take part in a protest against U.S. President Donald Trump, in London, Britain, June 4, 2019.

While thousands of people came out to protest, the turnout is lower than those that turned out during Trump’s visit the year before.

Among Britons, Trump is one of the least-liked foreign leaders, with just 21 per cent of people surveyed by YouGov having a “positive opinion” of him. Among women, that figure fell to 14 per cent.

But there were also small pockets of support. A few men wearing red caps with “Make America Great Again” walked among the crowd.

Supporters of U.S. President Donald Trump gather opposite the Houses of Parliament, during his state visit in London, Britain, June 4, 2019.

With files from the Associated Press and Reuters

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‘I’ve breast cancer and had mastectomy at 34 – I refuse to see it as negative’

Trina was a hugely successful kickboxer and devoted mum to her son, Corey, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer aged just 34.

She had previously competed in the world championships and also alongside her son in tournaments in the UK and Ireland.

Trina, from Wexford in Ireland, waspart of the WKC Irish Kickboxing Team.

But following a lumpectomy to rid her of her breast cancer, she was told it had been unsuccessful and that she would need a mastectomy.

Trina has now had the surgery and refuses to see it as a negative thing.

In fact, she hopes it will be the start of the rest of her life.

Here she tells her amazingly brave story.

My name is Trina. I’m 34, I have an 11 year old son Corey and last week I had underwent a mastectomy, not something I ever thought would be happening to me.

In the beginning of October, I was diagnosed with breast cancer – Stage 2 Invasive Ductal and Lobular – the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes in my arm pit.

Earlier this year I underwent a lumpectomy and I was so positive that was it for me on the surgery side of things and was looking forward to ( as much as you can look forward to) radiotherapy starting.

Unfortunately, it wasnt to be.

It took me about a week to get over the shock of the news that my lumpectomy wasnt successful.

It also took me about a week to say out loud that I would choose to go down the mastectomy route.

To admit it to myself, even though I knew deep down its what I needed to do.

I didn't talk to anyone about the decision in that week, I didnt want to discuss it, I needed to be alone and just process it, let it sink in, come to terms with it, deal with it and lastly accept it.

Once I accepted it, I felt weirdly at peace.

Everyone expected me to fall to pieces the night before, the morning of, and while I didnt get much sleep the night before I was booked in, I felt strangely calm as I hugged my Dad goodbye in the early hours of Wednesday morning 22nd of May 2019.

Calm, but also eager to get going, almost like I had a flight to catch, I wanted everything to happen super fast and wasnt impressed at the thoughts of having to wait hours to be operated on again.

We arrived at hospital , the usual rigmoroll of queing up, checking all the details they have on you, signing your life away and being led to your bed

“Luckily” I got given my own room off the usual day ward so I felt super important.

I'm told its just the luck of the draw, secretly, I think me, man and my sister were a bit too giddy last time so they thought might be best to isolate us away from the others. Either way, it was a welcome change.

My stomach litterly falling out of my butt hole everytime someone walked by the room, or someone said my name (which was a fair few times).

My breast care nurse came in for a chat which is always nice, she has the ability to normalise things, put everyone at ease and we always have a bit of a giggle with her even in a situation so serious. I think thats just my way of coping.

Around 1.30 the door opened and the nurse told us ” We will be coming for you in a few minutes”.

Reality hit. This was it. I felt the energy in the room change.

Nervous anxious energy and strangely excited, the excited part from me.

It so weird the feellings you feel at those moments but yes, I was excited, excited for my lovely sleep, excited for my tea and toast, excited to be rid of Larry the lump for good this time.

I think the nervous and anxious energies were more from my Mam and Sister, I could see it in there faces, suddenly very serious.

We said our goodbyes, hugged my Mam, hugged my sister and she said “Are you not going to cry?”

Tears filling her own eyes, I simply said ” No, why, are you?”..

She cried more than I did. Off I went chatting to the nurse on the walk to theatre.

Once I was put on my trolley, my nerves started, I was shaking uncontrollably at this time, mostly at the thoughts of getting the line put in.

You would think after 11 tattoos, and 8 months of constant needles that I would be used to this part but it just gets harder every time.

They offered me gas. I declined, they insisted as my anxiety and shaking was making it hard for them to get a vein.

The mask went over my face with the gas and almost instantly my whole body relaxed, the shaking stopped and I was calm.

The line went in and that was that. Off I went to the land of nod.

I must have been crying in my sleep because I woke up feeling dried tears on the side of my face.

That was my first thought in recovery. My next thought was I am so so snug and cosy.

My next was ” I made the right choice”. I smiled under my oxegen mask.

The next thing I remember is being back on the ward and crying “Mam, it hurts”.

The pain of having a mastectomy, isnt like anything I can refer back to. I cant say its like a sprained ankle, or a paper cut.

Theres nothing I can compare it to, but dont let that scare you. That doesnt mean its unmanageable. I have had worse pain.

My pain levels didnt go beyond a seven or an eight at a push. You are well medicated.

Always take pain meds when they offer them, even if you dont need them.

Dont let breakthrough pain come on you, you are already going through enough without having to try to catch up on pain relief.

I needed to be helped to sit up, helped to the side of the bed, I had to be dressed by my nurse and half carried to the toilet.

And thats ok, I had just had major surgery, was fully still under the influence of the drugs but a girl gotta pee!

The morning after my op, the physio came round to give exercises, yes you start to exercise less than 12 hours post op.

Yes, you feel like you are being punished for something.

Yes, its bloody hard and yes you might only be able to move an inch, but the next time you will move two inches and eventually, you will fully understand this part of recovery is.

Your mind is what will hold you back more than the pain. Its getting easier. Everything DOES get easier.

I was so anxious about going home, why? First off, I had my drains still attached to me.

I was terrified of them. My fears werent warrented. I eventually forgot I had the drains in and occassionally walked off forgetting to attach the bag to myself.

They aren't as scary as you think. Think of it as making a fashion statement.

But I was also anxious because I was so afraid that something was going to go wrong, I was leaving my safe little bubble of nurses checking me every hour offering me drugs every few hours and only a push of a button away if I needed them.

But what was the worst that could go wrong? The drain comes out? …. so what… Put a plaster over it.

I get a temperature or an infection? …. So I go to Caredoc if its out of hours or call my breast care nurse if during the day.

The wound opens? … Same as above.

My mind was crippling me more than my actual being.

I decided I would go home after two nights.

I got home Friday afternoon, I slept pretty much the entire weekend. When I sleep I dont feel pain.

I just listened to what my body wanted. Sometimes it wanted pizza, sometimes it just wanted sleep.

I don't remember a lot of things while in hospital, the visitors I've had at home because the brain fog from the drugs that have had me permanently drunk since surgery is unreal.

But I know you were here, and I am thankful for you coming to see me.

Here I am nearly two weeks out of surgery and feeling HALF normal.

In great form, feeling super positive, getting my movement back and feeling confident enough to go back to my own house and start getting my life back to my new normal.

Tomorrow brings a new appointment, new worries, new questions, new experiences but that is tomorrow, and I will deal with that when it comes

The word mastectomy might seem like the end of your world, but its really the start of your new life.

I refuse to look at my mastectomy as a negative experience, and while, I definitely cried more times in my recovery from this than I did my entire Chemotherapy experience, I still have my life to look forward to and I cant wait to show my scar and wear it with pride, and continue doing what I am doing and raise awareness of breast cancer in younger women (and men).

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