Luann de Lesseps is starting fresh with her Real Housewives of New York City costars.
On Thursday’s episode of the hit Bravo show, the Countess apologized to Ramona Singer, Dorinda Medley, Sonja Morgan and Tinsley Mortimer — in front of new cast member Leah McSweeney — for the toll her now-completed probation had on them last season.
“This year has been the roughest thing that I’ve ever been though in my life,” said de Lesseps, while at a dinner with her costars in the Hamptons. “It’s like a volcano erupted and all the ashes came out. And I was so busy taking care of myself that I didn’t realize that the ashes also fell on you guys; you got hit with the ashes.”
“You didn’t know what to do, how to react. ‘Do I drink, do I not drink?’ And I didn’t realize how much it did weigh on you guys, too, because I was so busy trying to take care of myself,” de Lesseps added.
She asked them for forgiveness as they moving forward.
“As I’m going through this recovery and healing and renewal, I realize I wanted to make amends to you all and say how much I love you,” de Lesseps said. “It’s not been easy, it’s been a whole ride, and thank you for being there for me.”
The sentiment registered with the New York City Housewives, who’d been upset with how de Lesseps treated them during her rough patch.
“New and improved Lu,” Morgan said in a confessional. “Definitely something had to be said, otherwise it was like the elephant in the room, and I’m so glad she had the respect to that for us.”
She seems to have gotten the message now — though it remains to be seen how long that lasts.
In a preview for next week’s episode, de Lesspes apparently pens a nasty note to Singer, after being assigned to sleep in the basement in her longtime friend’s Hampton’s home.
“You proclaim you love me but I know that’s not true,” de Lesseps says, in the note Morgan reads. “Good night from the lower level.”
As for her drinking, in January, de Lesseps told PEOPLE exclusively that after months of sobriety, she has recently made the decision to allow herself a drink on occasion.
Coming to that conclusion was something that de Lesseps approached slowly and responsibly, she said, after much soul-searching.
“New Year’s has been a time of reflection,” she explained. “I’ve learned a great deal about myself, and I’m in a very good place and finally back in the drivers seat.”
“I’ve always said my journey is day by day,” she added. “I’m toasting to a happy new year ahead!”
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
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